Today started off pretty weird. After probably the longest day of my life, I spent a lot of time praying last night for God to prepare my heart to evangelize today. I realize that the day of rejection was only a small glimpse of the rejection Christ felt every day of His life. I know now what it feels like for people to turn down the one thing that means the most to you in this world.
So I walked into breakfast all ready to take on the world and Nick automatically told me that I had been changed to a new group. And I would be tiling a floor. After a back and forth conversation about me wondering if he was changing me because I had a minor (ok major) cry fest after I got back from all the slammed doors last night. He assured me, however, that the fact that I was broken hearted but more because they needed me at a new site. Although not entirely sure that the move wasn’t attributed to the tears, I moved on to a new crew.
It was a complete switch from the day before! I laid tile like a mad woman. And had the amazing opportunity to get closer to some people I knew, but wasn’t very close with.
Speaking of getting closer to people, last night before bed I had a lot on my heart. Emotionally I felt broken and needed some advice. Instead of asking, I sat alone and was eventually approached by Rebecca. I’ve known her for a while, but we had never really had a legitimate conversation that consisted of more then the usual “hey how are you?” We ended up talking for a really long time and the best part was, it was like she knew exactly how to open my eyes. For the first time in a long time, I was able to see some of my flaws and things that I was doing to hurt my relationships with other people, but more importantly, my relationship with God. After talking to her, I was left unable to point fingers or blame anyone but myself. When I woke up this morning, I realized how blessed I am to be on this mission trip and have the opportunity to talk to and connect with so many people!
Tonights service: awesome. Bobby Scott preached and it was as if he was specifically talking to each individual person. After 5 baptisms (that’s right: 5), Mr. Scott talked to us about loving God and staying on the path chasing after him. Personally, I knew that he was talking to me when he spoke about the “christian checklist” I mentioned yesterday. He used Paul in Phillipians 3 and counting everything that you own, tangible and not, as loss in the eyes of Christ. He asked us if when we are at our lowest point, when we have absolutely nothing, would we still count Christ? If we were to divide up everything we own into one column, and put Christ in the “asset” column and put everything else in a column that meant nothng, could we do it?
After a few literally life changing days, I know that Christ died to be my everything. And to not give him every part of my heart, to not let the perfect surgeon go in and take out every bad part of my heart, is to let what He did for me in vain. I don’t want to live my life not honoring Christ and not giving him glory with every aspect of my life. I know that if I’m going to do all these wonderful things, like come to LA on a mission trip, I need to let Christ take over my heart to be successful. And as long as He dwells within us, we can all be successful no matter what the task.
